June 18, 2010

Fatherhood Vital to Health of the Nation

Desert Valley Times

Advocating for fatherhood is not some sentimental exercise — it’s necessary for the well-being and survival of our society.

Multitudes of problems, in individual lives and for the country, can be traced to the absence of a father. The role of father, like the role of mother, is as necessary to a healthy and productive life as nutrition and shelter.

According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, one out of every three children goes to bed each night without their biological father in the home. The non-profit group says that growing up with an involved, responsible and committed father “is the best way to ensure that every child has a happy and secure childhood.”

Conversely, studies have shown the lack of a father in a home often leads to deep problems, poorer performance at school and fewer career opportunities.

“Research has shown that perhaps the most powerful ‘game changer’ in the lives of children . . . is a dependable, reliable father or father figure,” says Dr. Karl Schmitt of the Fatherhood Educational Institute advisory. “Be there to share your experiences and answer their questions — if you don’t somebody else will.”

That “somebody else” may be a gang or another source of bad influence.

“When you look back on why young men join gangs, why kids in general become so disconnected and lost, it often begins with whether the father was a force in the child’s life,” writes Sheldon Smith, 21, founder of the Dovetail Project, conceived to teach young men how to strengthen the bond between father and child. Smith grew up without a father, and spent time in jail before embarking on his advocacy for fatherhood.

Even if kids don’t get into trouble, many will struggle because of the lack of a father in their upbringing.

“Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school, they consistently score lower than average in reading and math, and they are 11 times more likely to exhibit violent behavior. The key to combating gang recruitment is involved fathers,” says attorney Jeffery Leving. 

Good fathers help develop better people. A 26-year study published by the American Psychological Association found that children with fathers very involved in their lives are more likely to be sensitive to the needs of others in adulthood compared to those who do not have involved fathers in their lives.

It’s nothing new. Nearly 3,500 years ago, Moses delivered this to the Israelites as the fifth of the 10 Commandments: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” 

Most successful civilizations have had strong family values at their core. When that core weakens, so does the whole structure. 

The vast majority of single-parent families are led by mothers, many of whom do an admirable job of holding families together. Most would tell you the ideal family would be guided by two committed and caring parents.

There’s much talk of the traditional family being under attack these days, but the worst danger is not pressure from without, but the vacuum from within. All of us are paying the costs of those fathers who do not accept and fulfill their responsibilities.

Those who embark upon the path of parenthood need to know that nurturing children properly comes before all else. Success in a career is a tin treasure if achieving means sacrificing the welfare of children.